Boundaries

How’s your summer treating you?

In the midst of a Pacific Northwest heat wave, which is nothing compared to the heatwaves in Montreal recently, I’m finally sitting down to write a little update on my business as well as a coaching blog post (on boundaries and leaking your energy – see below) which, oddly, do connect.

UPDATING MY SERVICES

It’s been an explosive couple of months work wise which is fantastic and… exhausting (in a good way), and why I haven’t written a blog post since April 3rd. What’s been happening? Both my organizational consulting and coaching work are thriving, and they’ve been starting to weave together and integrate here in Vancouver in a way I could only hope for.

So what’s new?

I’m gonna rebrand a little when things quiet down in late August. Because what I LOVE to do with individuals, groups, and organizations is create and facilitate transformation. And what I’m doing these days looks a little different than the “jack of all trades” consulting section of my website right now.

So what’s the shift from what I say I already do? To be succinct, I’m in it for the transformation, not the band aid solutions, and my work these days is reflecting back that intention and vision. Sometimes it’s called culture change, sometimes it’s called leadership development, sometimes it’s called individual or team coaching – whatever its name, I’m in it for the transformation.

I’ve always aspired to be this way, but used to fall short of offering services in alignment with who I am essentially (thinking I needed to “take whatever I could get” to keep a viable business going), and keeping hidden the best of what I have to offer as a result.

How come?

Read the coaching blog below on Boundaries…

BOUNDARIES (new coaching blog)

I thought it was high time to write a little bit about something that my clients are encountering alot… A little something called: boundaries.

You might not recognize yourself in this topic. I thought I had long since established pretty great ones. However please read below if, for any reason, you’re *not living the life you want to live in this world,* or there’s something in your heart unlived. On some level, it links back to boundaries.

As Marionne Woodman (a Canadian Jungian icon who passed away this week) writes: “I want to die having lived my own life.” Me too! What does this have to do with boundaries?

A lot of us are over-functioning or emotionally care taking in order to be loved. And we’re doing it in our workplace and business (in addition to with our families and friends) and there’s a cost. Living our purpose in this life gets compromised.

How sad is that?

We think if we overcompensate and take responsibility for other people’s emotions or behaviours that we will in turn be “safe” from: conflict, failure, or financial insecurity. And the underlying belief behind that way of thinking is that as long as we cave to other peoples expectations of us, we protect ourselves. But we actually do the opposite because we’re acting from a place of fear and self-protection rather than authenticity and vision.

Here’s what I mean:

• My staff think I’m an awesome manager but I’m burnt out because I can’t delegate to them (or be clear with my expectations) because I’m too busy trying to keep them happy
• I can’t honour my true calling in life because I’ve internalized the belief that I’m “not safe” unless I submit to someone else’s evaluation of me, and I’m more loyal to that belief than my own truth (and then I’m not getting paid what I should, I’m working 24-7, or I’m not doing what I want professionally)
• I’m incredible at delivering anything on demand, without thought to my own wants and needs. I’m superwoman (except with myself and my own goals)

So what can I do about this tendency to work against myself? To not maintain healthy boundaries?

First, take responsibility for how you’re experiencing your life. What I mean is, if you’re not super thrilled with your world, what can you do to change that?

Here’s some reflection questions for you over-functioning, emotionally care taking people from Bethany Webster:

• Are there any small, insidious ways that I’ve been giving my energy away?
• Where do I need to pull back and function less?
• In what relationships and situations have I been taking too much responsibility or emotionally caretaking others?
• Do I feel stressed or exhausted around certain people?
• Is a painful childhood pattern being replicated?
• How can I honor myself in new, empowering ways?
• What do I need to say No to? What situations? What behaviors in myself do I need to stop doing?
• How do I get hooked into over-functioning or emotional caretaking?

Bethany Webster goes onto write that: “I notice that as my skill at setting boundaries gets increasingly refined, my life force energy expands and there’s a sense of pure exhilaration when I fully own my ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ I also become more effective at everything I do. Conversely, if I do allow my energy to be drained, I quickly get exhausted and this is my body’s way of telling me to stop…”

NEW CLIENTS IN AUGUST

Part of fulling owning my “YES” is aiming high and going deep for meaningful CHANGE with 4 new one-on-one clients in August. I wrapped up a few coaching programs at the beginning of summer, and am excited to work with 4 new amazing humans this fall. I thrive in supporting people move into a bigger vision than they currently hold for themselves, and giving them the capacity-building moves to get there.

Who am I working with these days?

• Entrepreneurs who really get that personal development is tied to success, and are making real strides in their business as a result of fully owning that they are the authors of their lives
• I’m also working with people who are longing for change, might be burnout, want to leave their jobs, and just don’t have that inner confidence (yet) to make the transition… and we’re getting there (leaving jobs, starting their own business, or shifting to a better organizational culture in a new job).
• Finally, I’m working with leaders, who want to make shifts in their organizations and need very practical tools to shift their culture or team to a higher functioning place.

Looking to accomplish a coaching or organizational change topic that deeply matters to you or know someone who is?

I’m specifically interested in working with clients locally or world-wide (via the magic of Skype or Zoom) who want to commit to a minimum of three months for an individual coaching program – where we dig in and find traction like with my Momentum package – OR do the bigger, deeper work of the 10-month Transformation package (and, clients can always wade into the work with my Insight Kickstarter before committing to the longer term).

In the case of organizational change, I’m looking to partner with organizational leaders who are creative and all-in for high-impact, liberating culture change projects this fall.

Contact me to chat about what it could look like to work together.

FYI: While I’ve never exclusively coached women, my marketing has been focused on supporting them. This will continue! AND a note to say, I’m more than happy to work with male coaching clients out there for whom my work and way of coaching resonates.

Happy Summer!
Jessica.